Sorry about the absence, team. I have been alternately lolling in the sun on a Turkish beach and worrying about Max, who isn’t gaining weight. Poor little guy, between birth and now he dropped from the 85th to the 15th percentile in weight (update: now nearing the 3rd percentile), but he’s sticking to the 70th in height and 90th in head circumference so he’s built like a lollipop. A skinny-armed, big-eared, cute as hell little old man lollipop. We’re worried about him. Funny how quickly you go from ‘breastfeeding is the best and only’ to ‘we’ll supplement with formula at six months if this is still an issue’ to ‘ok we’ll supplement now’ to ‘oh, baby, please drink something. Please. Please.’ to ‘OMG I think he might have just taken a swallow of formula. Praise Jesus.’ to ‘wait, I don’t have to be all religious now just because I was praying for my baby to not die, right?’

I’ll tell thee straight*, we might have been a little distracted during our travels to and from Turkey this weekend. We left the following items at the following places:

• Carseat at the baggage claim in Turkey. We realized this as we were loading into the van for the trip to the hotel. Luckily the van driver was a terrific sport and played with Frida, Max, and me as we waited for Tobias to go back through security to retrieve the carseat.
• My toiletries at the second security checkpoint in Turkey. Luckily we were on our way home, so no need to double back to the checkpoint to retrieve then!
• The baby food, also at the second security checkpoint but not discovered until we were boarding the plane. Boy, that is a feeling I cannot recommend.
• Carseat at the baggage claim in Hamburg. We realized this 10 seconds after walking through the doors between the restricted passenger zone and the wide-wide world zone. It was midnight, we were tired, the kids were hungry, and I was carrying Max in the sling like a human shield, so I just quietly scampered in through the out door and grabbed the carseat from the baggage carousel before the guards had time to yell, ‘Stop that woman!’

*Dick Francis reference, anyone?

A list of a different kind: Life Events Thus Far

• Swimming in the Amazon
• Skydiving in New Zealand
• Salsa dancing in Mexico, Chile, Bolivia, etc.
• Camping with warthogs and whales in South Africa
• Surfing in Australia
• Climbing glaciers in Peru
• Having the rental of a double breast pump paid for by my insurance in Germany.

Each, in its own way, a fond memory. Or at least the renting of the breast pump will be a fond memory when I take that motherfucker back to the place from whence it came. In the meantime, I’ve installed a laptop in my stanchion so I’ll be updating here in thrice-daily 15-minute snippets!