Three Topics In One!

Does your deodorant have an expiration date? Mine does, and it’s this October! I’m not the most hygienic, but I never thought I’d end up the kind of person who lets her deodorant expire.

In other deodorant news, the user is warned to keep the product away from eyes and from their ‘schleimhaute’. This translates to keeping the deodorant away from your slime skin. I would make some crack about what an ugly, yet intuitive, language Deutsch is, but the term ‘mucous membrane’ ain’t exactly purty neither.

Not Related

This week, sick of cabbage, I ordered the Mother and Child vegetable box from the CSA organic grocery delivery service rather than my usual Local Produce box. The Mother and Child option, sometimes called the Stillen (Breastfeeding) box, purports to contain only those foods that do not produce gas, to which Max and I say, ‘Challenge accepted!’ There are various size options, I opted for the medium-large. It came on Thursday, bringing carrots, fennel, mache, sweet potatoes, parsnips, one kohlrabi, some mushrooms, an avocado, and spinach. And by spinach, I mean SPINACH. Two pounds of spinach. It may not sound like much, but this is the box that just the spinach came in and it was completely full:

to be fair, that is one tiny farmer!














A little context: the spinach, like nearly all spinach sold in northern Germany, is fresh, attached to the root, and is unwashed. It varies from quite clean to unbelievably gritty, an invariably needs two or more washes before use. I don’t know who the grocery delivery people think they’re dealing with, but I do not outsource the procurement of my family’s nourishment to complete strangers because I have too much time. I arrange for grocery delivery because I feel that I have too little time. I think it’s safe to say that the average recipient of the home-delivery Mother and Child vegetable box does not feel that she is awash in leisure time. Awash in dirty diapers, crusty nursing bras, and mismatched baby socks, yes, but extra minutes in the hour before dinner needs to be consumed? No. So why are you sending us four sinkfuls of dirty spinach? Next time, how about sending something clean that I can snack on one-handed. Like a beer.

Disclaimer: the spinach is now washed and in the fridge, ready for use. It’s nice to have Tobias home! And, yes, the grocery delivery service does deliver beer.

Also Not Related

I imagine that many parents, first-time or otherwise, look at their little treasures adorably doing something like kicking a ball and picture the moment on the highlight reel shown during the (now big) treasure’s induction into the Football/Soccer Hall of Fame. It’s hard not to document the moment just in case. With that, I bring you:

World Champion Smoothie Drinker Takes Her First Sip


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