2:45 pm, June 27th, 2011
If we have learned nothing else from the 1970’s, it is that eating a ham sandwich while lying down is a bad idea for women nicknamed ‘Mama‘. In the best interest of your long-term health and safety, I suggest that you either encourage me to take an immediate nap, OR that you demand that I eat a ham sandwich, but that you discontinue your practice of requiring me to do both at once.
3:45 pm, June 27th, 2011
Subject: re:re: Warning
Since you have rejected my solution of a ham smoothie, I’m afraid that I must resort to threatening the use of caffeine to avoid hamnap suffocation.
3:48 pm, June 27th, 2011
Subject: re:re:re:re: Warning
Oh, really? A peanut butter sandwich? You’re hilarious. And no, we’re not putting ice cream on it just because you passed your fetal heartrate test today.