My Sister Thinks He’s a Spy

In the in-flight magazine for Lufthansa airlines, there is a feature that details the work done to maintain some part of the aircraft: last month’s feature was on the coffee makers that each plane has 3+ of, and described how often they get serviced, how long the servicing takes, who does the servicing, and how much the coffee machines cost. That last bit was the sticking point, because the magazine said that they cost over ten thousand. Euro. WTF? Granted, their coffee is acres better than a lot of coffee I’ve made at home, but ten thousand Euro? I know it has to be the right size, and special care should be taken to make sure that it doesn’t explode what with the being in the air and all, but that’s a lot of scratch.

This week, I got a glimpse into why the stuff like that costs so much:
Tobias and I were getting out of the car, and I noticed a shiny object in the back seat. I asked what it was, and he explained that it was some kind of emergency suit to wear on the big ships that went out to fix/install the offshore wind turbines. Tobias is lots of things, but dignified is really the one constant. I immediately asked him to lug the suit up to the apartment, put it on, and let me take pictures. He acquiesced, with dignity.
The man emails for a living, with the occasional conference call, but might someday make a site visit to the ship, so he has been outfitted with the following:
• Size 43 black waterproof boots of the serious variety
• 2 pairs of black cargo pants, also of the serious variety
• 2 black T-shirts with the company name and his name printed on them
• 2 kind of awesome black hoodies, also personalized with his name
• 1 hard hat, not black, so significantly less cool than the other stuff
• 1 bad ass harness for repelling out of helicopters onto the boat
• 1 bright red floating hypothermia-reducing emergency suit for surprise swims in the North Sea, complete with a whistle, a light, a headpiece, a cool Velcro nametag, built-in booties and mittens, and a freaking built-in knife.
They took his measurements before ordering, and all of this stuff was exactly his size except for the boots (oh, he’ll thank me someday for making him try it all on, like when he’s trying to swim to safety in boots that aren’t one size too small.) It must have cost enough to feed a family for at least a couple of months (built in knife!), but I am in all likelihood the last person ever to wear it. What a waste:

This Man Can Kill You. With an Email.

This Man Can Kill You. With an Email.


Hypothermia Drill SubSection#14: Dining Room Chair Evacuation

Hypothermia Drill #14: Dining Room Chair Evacuation

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