Oh My Gods

Sorry if website continuity is a bit choppy – some posts were lost in The Great Migration of 2015/2016.

Scholars of 21st Century Mundanity are no doubt rending their garments at this loss, as are any poor slobs with half-finished dissertations on ‘The Internet and Decorum: Evidence of Multiculturalism in Poop Jokes’.

Say, speaking of which, do you know what happens when you give a sugar-starved 2-year-old unlimited access to sweetened yogurt? Oh, you don’t know? Your first guess is correct. He drinks it all, and then an hour later when he farts he gets a worried expression, and then {redacted} and then we’re all very grateful for the super-soiled setting on the washing machine.

Max had an EEG and an abdominal ultrasound last Friday. Abdomen is fine – no missing parts, no extra parts. The EEG was abnormal but not severely and the abnormalities didn’t point to a firm diagnosis (the official report is ‘inconclusive’), so we’ll repeat the test in 6 months but no intervention is needed in the interim. That’s the best we could’ve hoped for, I think, as his head would be abnormally large even for a 6-year-old. His third birthday is at the end of this month, and if he were to ask for a treat I think it would be snuggles, being allowed to turn the dishwasher on, and more yogurt.

Frida is writing lots of lists lately, in part to practice her handwriting and in part to practice her absentminded/annoyed expressions.

Me: Frida, time to get dressed!

Frida: (head down, pen to paper, one finger raised to indicate that she’ll get to me in a moment): Hang on a minute, I’m almost done.

Frida: (finishes writing, puts pen down): There! Sorry, what were you saying?

Her imitations of a busy, distracted person are mind-bogglingly good. I’ve caught her practicing in the mirror, whispering, “Not now, Max, I’m busy. Can you go get a toy from the living room?” and “Give me two minutes, ok?”


Public Service Announcement

If you are heading to gymnastics this week with an excited kid who is desperate for physical and social activity after being cooped up sick all last week, be prepared to do some explaining when you get to the door and learn that class is cancelled because of Carnevale. Here’s what worked really well for me:

-Class is cancelled because of Carnevale.

-Carnevale is the thing before Fat Tuesday, which is the thing before Lent.

-Lent is the thing before Easter.

-Easter is when Jesus rose from the dead.

-He died because people killed him because they didn’t like being told what to do, even though he had some really good ideas.

-No, that’s different. I tell you what to do because I’m your mom.



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