Questions whose answers are NO:

• Is Max gaining a reasonable amount of weight?
• After three days in the hospital last week, do we know the reason?
• Did the pediatrician at the hospital explain what he was getting at when he asked if Max looked like his sister or other children in the family, given that his low ears, wide nose root, pulmonary stenosis, lower eyelid folds, oral caving, and failure to thrive are all markers for various syndromes?
• Does googling ‘low ears, wide nose root, pulmonary stenosis, lower eyelid folds, oral caving, and failure to thrive’ help one sleep?
• Does googling ‘mosiac + syndrome’? No?
• What about googling ‘continued insufficient weight gain, long-term impact’?
• How about ‘is it my fault because I was running too much when he was tiny and /or in the womb?’ Does that help?
• Would it be the end of the world if Max had a syndrome, whatever the type?

Questions whose answers are YES:

• Are we, on the whole, doing just fine?
• Is my mother coming for a visit on Thursday?
• Does the mechanism for drug introduction for Max’s upcoming sweat test for cystic fibrosis involve pushing a medication through the skin using electrodes? (cool, huh?!)
• Is it sunny out in Hamburg right now?

So here we are, not eating dairy because he seems to NOT be allergic to it and we want to know for sure (we’ll reintroduce dairy over the weekend and watch for a change in symptoms, at which point I will either become a meat-eating vegan or bury my entire face in a bucket of ice cream.) Using the breast pump four times a day because milk supply doesn’t seem to be the problem (and using the resultant milk to get him used to the bottle so that we can push formula if needed.) Going to the osteopath today to see if aligning his chakras AGAIN will make any difference (even the osteopath says that it won’t.) Home from the hospital because we don’t yet know what’s wrong with Max (we’ll see if he gains or loses weight this week and will be readmitted on Monday for more testing.) We’ve instituted a No Googling After Dark policy, and we’re feeling very, very lucky to be a part of a healthcare system that covers every test, consult, procedure, chakra alignment, and minute in the hospital. My thoughts are with families who have to decide on testing and treatment based on what they can afford. Shame on you, Rick Perry and every other anti-Obamacare asshole, for putting so many people in that position.

And another couple of questions whose answers are no and yes, respectively: Do I have a firm grasp on what it is an osteopath does, exactly? and, Am I about to be late for our appointment with said osteopath?