We’re Back!

Want to know how to get on your web host’s shit list? Link to a video, don’t update your spam filters, sit back, and let the chaos rain down. Sorry about the solid week of ‘server not responding’ messages. Guess this won’t be turning into a LIVE VIDEO ONLINE NOW website anytime soon. Too bad; I’m sure you would love to witness firsthand my method for cleaning under Frida’s high chair while heavily pregnant (hint: it involves fruit flies and letting nature take its course.)

Here are the week’s updates, in no particular order.

  • The farmer’s market butcher who was carving up a wild boar last week was just slicing into an incredibly fresh calf’s liver when I happened by this week. His timing predicts my pregnancy cravings so remarkably well that we’re naming the baby after him (if his name happens to be Otto.)
  • Circumcision is again legal in Germany! Hurrah, right? Right? Anyone want to weigh in on this? Or on the wisdom of naming one’s firstborn son a word popularized in the common lexicon by one of The Simpson’s less responsible characters?
  • The holiday season is well underway in Germany, which means that you are wished Merry Christmas by everything from the ATM machine to the subway system’s train announcements to the accordion cases of the street buskers. Real live Germans, known for their precision, wish you a ‘Happy Third Advent’ this week.
  • Tobias and I miss the mountains and the sun and have scheduled a vacation to Switzerland in January. I’ll be 33 weeks pregnant by then, so this trip increases my chances of accidentally giving birth to a Swiss person by 9,327%. Imagine ┬áthe fallout – I’d spend the rest of my life explaining the problems with the flat tax while trying to find bottled water that meets the kid’s standards. Oh, dear.
  • We’re heading to comparatively balmy southern Germany this weekend to spend Christmas (and fourth advent, let’s not forget!) with Tobias’ mother. En route, we will try to find the source for the wonderful carved wooden interlocking snails that T’s mother bought years ago. She said she found them at a Christmas market that featured the artwork of prison inmates who had gained woodworking skills while incarcerated. So far, google has given me fuck all in response to my queries about ‘inmate woodworking cherrywood snail Christmas market’, but Tobias seems to be confident that he can find it.

Happy third advent to all, and to all a good night.


p.s. As you may have guessed, I have no idea what the advent(s?) are, and I’m not likely to find out anytime soon. I’m too busy searching for ‘German prisoner great gift for kids’ and ‘snail wood jail craftsman open weekends?’

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