Here’s How I Do It

I don’t mean to tell you how to live your life, but I just passed a gestational diabetes test that I was pretty sure I would fail so I feel like I owe it to you to tell you how I did it. Here are some tips.

-I made oatmeal cookies but didn’t have any vanilla, so I used Irish whiskey instead. They are terrifically good, and the combination of streaks of raw eggs and whiskey fumes reminded me not to eat too much batter.

-I made butterscotch pudding from a mix. It tasted so much like chalk that the concept of pudding is now repulsive.

-If I feel like baking but also feel like having a nap, I turn on the oven, mix some water, flour and yeast together for a poolish to leave on the counter overnight, take some oatmeal cookie dough out of the freezer and bake a few cookies. 10 minutes later I can lie down, eat cookies, and read recipes for bread that I’ve basically already started to make because my poolish is fermenting! This is unbelievably satisfying.

-Warm milk is delicious all by itself, and it’s even better with a cardamom pod in it.

-A spoonful of molasses is a legitimate snack.

-A spoonful of honey is not, so better make some tea so that you can pretend you’re only licking the spoon.

-Tangerines are great when you have the hungry-in-the-mouth-but-not-in-the-belly feeling.

-It is surprisingly easy to eat two artichokes in a sitting.

-Even though you’re tired of your usual snacks and want something different, it is not a good idea to heat up cottage cheese.

It occurs to me that not everyone spends as much time as I do puttering around in the kitchen trying to come up with the perfect snack, so I’ll stop now before I get too embarrassed about how I’ve gone to three grocery stores today but haven’t yet found time to shower.

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