People try to overfill my plate, explaining to me that I’m eating for two. Tiny-Rubble weighs something in the neighborhood of 5 ounces now, and I weigh 2,720 ounces, so although T-Rubble has nutritional needs that I would do well to take seriously, I am not eating for two. I am eating for one and one five hundred and forty-fourth. Let’s call it one and a smidgen. I would prefer to be eating with a larger army, though, because it might make my dream lunch a possibility. Here’s what sounds best for lunch today:
• The crispy edges of almost-burned cheddar from a grilled cheese sandwich
• Two spoonfuls of Greek Gods honey yogurt
• Five pomegranate seeds
• One big bite of a picadillo empanada (the kind with raisins in the meat)
• A little bit of roasted sweet potato
• One small dulce de leche cookie
• Half of a crispy Empire apple with a little peanut butter smeared on it
• A large floret of lightly steamed broccoli
• A handful of cherry tomatoes
• Half of a deviled egg
• A bite or two of a cold meatloaf sandwich with mayo on sourdough
• and some cottage cheese.
The above list is included for informational purposes only, because it’s not like I’m making meatloaf so that I can have one bite of a sandwich (and no man can eat only half of a deviled egg.) Here’s what’s coming Smidgen’s way instead:
• A few microwaved frozen shrimp shumai dumplings
• A nectarine
• A slice of baguette with almond butter
• A glass of milk
It tastes pretty good, it’s reasonably healthy, and it doesn’t leave me with a tornadoed kitchen and twenty pounds of oddments crammed into the fridge. My goal for this week: a balanced, diverse diet with no leftovers. Herr Rosenbaum has requested salade Niçoise for dinner tonight, so I will have the satisfaction of steaming 10 green beans, using the one-egg setting on the egg cooker*, ordering three anchovy filets from the fishmonger, etc. I’m looking forward to it.
*If you regularly eat boiled eggs (or want to) and you don’t have one of these, let me know and I will happily send you one! I thought that RonCo had captured the market on single-purpose kitchen tools and that I lived above that kind of storage-intense organizational nightmare, but I was totally wrong. The electric egg cookers in Germany are brilliant: they’re no bigger than an egg carton, they have a water measure with specific markings for hard/medium/soft and various numbers of eggs (one through six,) they last forever and they work alarmingly well. Just add the right amount of water to the bottom, put your eggs in, and plug it in. It heats the water, steaming the eggs, until the water is all evaporated. This sets off a buzzer, letting you know that your eggs are done. It takes about five minutes for two eggs, the shells never crack prematurely, there’s no clean-up, and it’s very easy to make yolks exactly done to your liking. Neato.
Also in this category: a very, very sharp, heavy-duty breadknife. I thought that it was superfluous to my contentment, but it’s not.
The geniuses at Wal-Mart carry an electric egg cooker highlighting a feature of egg cooking I would not have chosen to highlight. In case you don’t want to go soil your mouse by clicking a link straight to the headquarters of child labor law violations and systemic gender-based wage discrimination, here’s the web page (emphasis added):
Hmm… I was trying to decide between the E-Z Kleen model and the No-Lead-Coatings-Guaranteed model, but this one seems so appealing…
Update: our egg boiler is a Siemens model. It is so sturdy it is like a joke.