I Did Drink the Coffee, Though

My sister, her husband, and her three boys are coming for a visit in a few short weeks, and when we were talking about preparing for the trip we discussed comfortable footwear, food allergies, and practicing wearing scarves ahead of time so that they didn’t feel foolish in them. (Scarves, of course, being mandatory in Europe since the Treaty of Versailles.)

It occurs to me now, a day after that conversation, that for the boys the weirdest thing about being in Europe for the first time will be body stuff: seeing boobs in the pharmacy’s anti-cellulite display, having people in the park wear bicycle shorts into the cafe when they stop for a coffee, having a not-at-all-private too-short privacy curtain in the changing room at the swimwear shop.

There certainly are fashion-based weirdnesses here (so many jackets on so many dogs!), but my most awkward moments in Europe have always been body-related. I imagine the same will be true for my beloved mid-Western 6, 8, and 10-year-old nephews. Oh, little Americanos, I cannot wait to see you!!!



ps. wondering why you’re not blending in despite your scarf, your expensive sweater, and your chic hair? It’s your pores! They don’t seem to have them in Italy. Gives you away every time.

Is This Thing On?

Testing, testing, 1 2 3…

it’s on! Apologies for the lapse. As Max has begun preschool, and is now attending for as many as 60 minutes in a row, I fully expect to begin:

-updating this website daily

-drinking even more coffee at even more preschool-adjacent caf├ęs

-buying tissues, diapers, and milk before we run out.

Oh, yes, my ambitions are ambitious.

Speaking of which, I am no longer working at all. My erstwhile employer took a good look at the HR-related legal fees that my move to Italy necessitates, divided that by the number of hours I’d committed to working, and realized that they could hire an entire full-time circus for the cost of my 5-hr-a-week dog and pony show. I am sad about it but am surprised (and grateful,) that they didn’t do similar math during the half-decade I spent telecommuting from Germany.

If the WHO is looking for 32 minutes a day of reproductive healthcare policy consulting but are having a hard time filling the position because they’re demanding that candidates possess only a psychology BA, you can let them know that I’m available. They can call anytime between 9:03 and 9:54am, otherwise my 3-year old will take a message.